I need you like Heaven needs more to come in... [entries|friends|calendar] rawkthestreetz [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[15 Nov 2005|04:53pm] SO I HAVE A NEW LJ. Add it nowwwwww. If you're my friend on this one, I most likely added you already on that one. Just go to edit friends and add me back. HOKAY THANKS. <333 Jesus Saves

[12 Nov 2005|02:42pm] I want a new lj. Sounds good. Jesus Saves

[11 Nov 2005|12:58am] [ mood | blah ] Okay. Here we go. FUCK THIS. I'm over it. For good. And I mean it. I want nothing more. I need nothing more. I will get nothing more. The end. P.S. Life is wonderful if you didn't know. :] I love life no matter what the hell happens. I suggest you do the same. Jesus Saves

Change my heart and change my name. [08 Nov 2005|10:30pm] [ mood | exhausted ] Mold my face into a pretty shape. I've become everything I hate cause I'm nothing you'd want. Those cigarettes don't suit you. Does their smoke fill the gaps in your heart? Oh, your love's a four letter L I E. I love my friends more than anything. You have no idea. Jesus Saves

[04 Nov 2005|07:46pm] Face it Kayla. He's not coming back. He doesn't want you back. He's over it. He was over it before you even quit. Stop wasting your time. Stop making yourself upset. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. I wish I could listen to myself more often. OH HEY. I didn't cry yesterday. At all. Came close. But that's just cause Ash and I had a long like 2 hour talk while walking about 4 miles. So yeah. Understandable. I'm proud of myself though. We're talking. Which is good. Which we haven't been for awhile. :] P..S.. My baby? Yeah, I named her Braelyn. 6 Jesus Saves

[02 Nov 2005|03:51pm] I get less upset every day. But it still hurts to walk by and just get a look. Not a "hi". Not a wave. Not a nod. Not an acknowlegdement at all. I get a look. A two second look that quickly disappears to something nearby. It hurts. "1. I love Kayla. 2. Kayla is everything to me. 5. I think Kayla is beautiful. 8. Without Kayla I would die." I want it back. I want everything back. Give me your heart back. Jesus Saves

[01 Nov 2005|04:37pm] [ mood | crushed ] I've decided to not be sad about it anymore. But I can't help it. I try. Really I do. I still make myself upset though. REALLY upset. I think too much. Which kills me emotionally in the long run haha. I cried more yesterday than I have in the last month. Part of my pillow is black because of my makeup lastnight. And just thinking about it now makes me want to. I feel stupid for being so upset. But yeah. I let go of one of the most important people in my life. Someone I've talked to almost every single day for the last probably 4-5 months. Now it's nothing. Completely back to square one. The part where we don't exist. It's hard to know and/or feel that/like someone you love(d) wants almost nothing to do with you. I've gone through with it with my mother. And this person was with me that entire time. Made me so happy. God, I'm so upset. I tryyyyyyyyyyy so hard not to be. I tryyyyyyyyyyy so hard to hide it. I suppose I do a good job at that. ksfjksfjsfd I'm rambling. No one will read this. To the three of you: I'm done with you. I honestly can't believe you. That's so low. Friends don't do that to others. You're not friends. At all. I hate crying so much. 3 Jesus Saves

I'm gonna call this home. [31 Oct 2005|09:48pm] [ mood | blah ] You don't know how much you love something until it's not there to love anymore. I feel stupid for letting him go...even if he does like someone else. How's everyone's Halloween? Tell me all about it. I have an idea for my spirit box. It's gonna be amazing. I can tell. aljkfsfj. Jesus Saves

[19 Oct 2005|07:49pm] [ mood | sick ] A Fatality Kiss: :[ skitskill: hmm you need to feel better A Fatality Kiss: I agree. :p A Fatality Kiss: :[* skitskill: and if you dont and you dont go to school tomorow then im going to go over to your house and make you feel better A Fatality Kiss: haha aw. skitskill: im serious to i dont care if i get sick A Fatality Kiss: I'll wear one of those hospital masks so you won't get isck haha. A Fatality Kiss: ;-) skitskill: haha i dont care. i wont get sick and even if i do it wouldnt mattter because i get to see you I think you get why I love him so much. ♥ Jesus Saves

[17 Oct 2005|08:49pm] [ mood | content ] I love home. Jesus Saves

[14 Oct 2005|04:46pm] [ mood | happy ] So lastnight was amazing. Yeah yeah yeah. You get the picture. I love those boys so much. You don't even know. It makes my night just to be able to speak with them in person. They're great people. You should get to know them, if you don't already. They'll make you feel the same, I guarantee it.   Pictures. ( Just a few of my favorites... ) 3 Jesus Saves

[13 Oct 2005|01:36pm] [ mood | giddy ] I GET TO SEE DON'T LET GO TONIGHT!!! You don't even know how excited that makes me. I get to see my boyyyyys. :]]]]]]]]]]] Jesus Saves

[03 Oct 2005|10:47pm] [ mood | jubilant ] I really like helping people. I like having people tell me their problems. I like listening to them. I like trying my best to make people happy. I like putting smiles on people's faces. I like putting people in good moods. I like how grateful people are to you if you cheer them up even if it's just slightly. I like how the littlest thing can make the biggest difference. I LOVE life. That's pretty much the point of this post. I. I love. I love life. Yes. You heard me. I LOVE LIFE. I suggest you do to. It makes for such a more happier place. And everyone can use a happier place now-a-days. Oh, and pee ess. I have an amazing boyfriend. I pretty much love him. A lot. Ah. Don't you love when you had a bad day, but in the end you're just happy for no reason? I love happiness. 4 Jesus Saves

[15 Sep 2005|04:47pm] [ mood | tired ] I'm pretty much tired of the bf's friends. Well at least his female friends. Some of them. They're mean. Really. Today before first hour we kissed and one of them was just like staring at me. And when I walked away she was like "EWWWWW." And most of the rest of them try to get me jealous. They're like "JOHNNY YOU'RE SO HOT. TAKE IT OFF. TAKE IT OFF." Um, hi. You're pathetic. Oh and I heard one of his other friends [male] was like "all of my friends have FAT girlfriends. Except for Mike." I was like oh. Lovely. People are such bitches. 10 Jesus Saves

I'm disappointed. [12 Sep 2005|04:29pm] [ mood | exhausted ] I love my Ashley soooooooooooo much. I want to see her happy. REALLY happy. And like right now. On a different note: I'm really disappointed. I'm disappointed in hearing the front door slam in the middle of the night. I'm disappointed in the jingling of car keys... because I know you're leaving. I'm disappointed in all of yelling, screaming, arguing. I'm disappointed in waking up/coming home to an empty house. I'm disappointed in MYSELF for still being upset when I wake up/come home to that empty house. I'm disappointed in the way you said you wouldn't leave anymore because it makes me upset, however you still do. I'm disappointed in YOU for draining me emotionally. Because honestly... That's what you're doing. You're draining me emotionally. My tank is on empty. I'm running on fumes. And with every glance, and mumble. With every ignored "goodnight" or "I love you". With each and every one of your acts that lead me to believe that you want nothing to do with me... You inhale those fumes that I am so exhaustedly running on. I'm about to reach the point of no return. The point where I just don't give a fuck. 2 Jesus Saves

I'm so lucky. [03 Sep 2005|05:29pm] [ mood | happy ] "im pretty shure your the best girl a guy like me could ever ask for" "your worth way more than money your priceless" "id rather pay attention to you" I adore this boy. 2 Jesus Saves

[01 Sep 2005|06:12am] [ mood | cheerful ] Hello. My name is Kayla, and I am no longer single. :]]]] Yesterday was SUCH a good day. Even throughout the night. My brother and I sat together and listened to acoustic songs and things like that for like an hour or more. We talked a lot and just hung out. I loved it. I love that kid. I'm lucky to have such a brother who I can just sit and talk with. He's probably the only person who can make me laugh, no matter what. And I'm grateful for that as well. 3 Jesus Saves

[17 Aug 2005|06:11pm] I think we're on to something.. *edit* I spoke too soon. Jesus Saves

[14 Aug 2005|05:10pm] Damn boys and their cuteness. Damn. 2 Jesus Saves

Lace, silk, cotton, polyester. It's all coming off so it doesn't even matter. [12 Aug 2005|11:31pm] [ mood | tired ] I like that boy entirely too much. He's debating on whether or not to go out with this one girl. I have to say, I am jealous. I get jealous too easily. Eep. He says it's a hard choice. Idk why it would be. If he likes her, go for it. If he doesn't, don't. He said that he doesn't really know her, but she seems cool. And then he got really quiet. Idk. Then yay for bad moods, because I felt like the worst friend in the world, but he decided to cheer me up I suppose because we fought for like 15 minutes over who was cooler. I said he was cooler than me, and he said the opposite. He told me that I was one of the coolest people he knows. And when I said thanks, he said he was only telling the truth. I told him the same of course. But the thing is, he really IS one of the "coolest" people I know. And that's hard to find. I don't care if he's younger. I really don't. Age is a number. It's a 2 year difference. I think if he we're to read this, I would probably like die. Because I'm THAT lame. This is mean, but I hope those two don't date. I will have to like throw my heart onto the floor or something. Haha. I love how I sound totally in love with him. Which I'm not. I just REALLY like him. Really. I do. 1 Jesus Saves

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